Saturday, September 30, 2006
Guess what folks?? I got employee of the month at work!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, aparently I do my job well and do what I'm supposed to do...and I also believe people like me. Which could come as a surprise to some people....I won't mention any names.
I was extremely surprised when I found out that I had won. Mellissa came over and told me yesterday while I was working...I was like "Are you serious?!" In total shock. LOL. Now Mellissa gets to take me out to lunch, and I get a gift card. :-D. It will definatly be weird to go out with Mellissa.....but hey, I'm not complaining. Especially not about the gift card
I ordered My Lewis Black tickets last night!!!! They went on sale yesterday...FINALLY. I was only waiting forever. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! James and I are going...I'm sooooo excited. I LOVE LEWIS BLACK!!!!
Ugh, I've been feeling a little sick the past couple days...I felt it coming on when I went out with James on Wednesday, and now my throat is just ungodly soar and I'm coughing a lot. But, A lot of people are...It's just the change in seasons I'm guessing. But I went to the grocery store and stocked up on soup. Also went to CVS and got more cough drops, and throat spray. Hopefully I'll feel better soon. I hate feeling like crap.
So...WHOSE LINE CAME OUT ON DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, the first season did, and theres a bonus disk with all this uncensored stuff...I got it when I went out with Jon the other day. Eva told me about it originally...and I got it ASAP!!!
*sigh* I know this is a short entry, But I'm going to go make some soup...even though its 12:30 am. LOL. I need it badly.
goodnight :)
posted by Lauren 9/30/2006 05:29:00 PM
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Hey everyone! Want to see what I did at work yesterday?!? I drew this!!:
Haha! I actually drew it for Laura because me and her have this thing where we draw incredibly silly pictures for each other. The copy I made for her is actually a lot nicer then that one. LOL. Yes, I was THAT bored. Oh well.
Well, now that all of you think I'm completely insane, time to move on.
Incase you haven't noticed, I'm rather happy at the current moment. I sent James a message tonight, asking him if he maybe wanted to go out for dinner. And ya know, I was thinking like Chilli's, Ruby Tuesday, that kind of place. So he calls me back and says "Yeah, Im still dressed up from work, so what do you say we hang with the rich people tonight?" I was like....Holy shit. LOL. He took me to this place called Max's Oyster Bar which is in West Hartford Center. Incredibly fancy/ expensive place. I wish I was more prepared...I would have dressed up a lot nicer then I did. I might have actually put on a skirt for him. But I totally didn't have time to get that ready. Wasn't expected that we were going to go there at all. But needless to say, It was incredibly awesome. Wow. I'm definatly floating on cloud 9. Afterwords we went for coffee which I paid for because He just took me to this incredibly nice place...and walked around for a bit. When he drove me home and was about to turn into my driveway, he goes "fuck it, let's go for a ride" and accellerates down the street. ^_~ I was like "wooooot!" So we drove around a bit in the Mustang and then he brought me home. Was the most amazing night I've had in a long time. *sigh* and I can still smell his cologne. ;) wow. that sounded a bit creepy. Oh well :-P.
I'm really happy with how today went. Despite the fact that It didn't start out too good. But I don't want to go into that. :)
goodnight all!
posted by Lauren 9/27/2006 11:54:00 PM
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Well, today was definatly bad, but it was a lot better then I expected. I went to my Aunts house to meet my cousin's new baby. She's definatly cute :). And that took up most of the day, thank goodness. Less time to dwell on bullshit. My dad actually gave me a drink when I was there... O_O definatly a memorable day. But anywhoo....later after I got home, I gave Dom a call. Because...today would have been our one year anniversary. Yeah. Thats why this day sucked so much. Gave him a call, left him a message, and of course he never called me back. Am I surprised? No. I just.....I don't know. I'm so fucking lonely. I really wish I had someone special again. I can't stand this crap of being alone. I want someone special there for me again. Theres two people in praticular that I really would love to be with. But I'm really affraid. I'm so affraid of being hurt again. I guess thats why I haven't persued anything. This whole day I've just felt like crying. I don't know what to do, I'm so confused and sad and everything possile. I just can't handle it all.
I'm so tempted to just get in my car and drive away. Leave my job, and everybody behind and just go somewhere. I don't know where. Just anywhere but here.
I'm really trying to smile. I really truely am. And theres definatly people out there that help me do that. Which are the two people previously mentioned.
Scott and I kind of straightend things out. Buts definatly not the same as it was. He called me at like 2am Friday night. And that was probably the last I've heard/seen of him. I might have seen him at work briefly on Saturday. But thats it......yeah. *sigh* Whatever. No clue what his deal is, and honestly, I never will.
And honestly, I'm not depressed. I'm really not, I'm just incredibly lonely.
*sigh* :-(
posted by Lauren 9/24/2006 11:27:00 PM
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Come the next 25 minutes, it will be officially the worst day of my life. Why you ask? Because one year and 25 minutes ago, I had a boyfriend. I feel like crying already. I just can't handle this. I don't know how I'm going to get through the day. Especially since I have to be around Family and I can't just be alone. Great.
I'm sick of people, and everything that has to do with people. I'm under way too much stress right now. Everyone all of a sudden feels the need to rip my heart out and stomp on it. Thanks everyone, I appreciate it. Although James left me a message and asked me If I wanted to go to the center and get coffee with him today because he had to go to the Center anyways. So Thats exactly what I did. :). Even though I didn't get to see him for very long, I totally enjoyed that. And definatly needed it.
a real update later...
posted by Lauren 9/23/2006 11:42:00 PM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
UGH. Somebody just shoot me please. Seriously. I'm so sick of people right now its not even funny. I should just be a hermit and not talk to anyone ever. Scott is fucking pissing me off right now. My patience with him is pretty much non-existant anymore. I've been patient for like 2 months now and I'm just totally done with it. I don't have the energy. He's been saying he's going to take me out for my birthday since...well, before my birthday. And every single time we've made plans to do something, he's always backed out of it and said "can we do it tomorrow?" and "can we do it this day?" And guess what? Tomorrow and this day came around and the same thing happend. I'm just so fucking sick of it. If you don't want to go out with me, just SAY SO. But don't fucking string me along because then I end up doing nothing. I could have made other plans all these days that he said he wanted to go out and then backed out. It's almost like he doesn't even want to see me anymore. Which is totally fine, I don't give a rat's ass. I don't have time to care and dwell about that shit anymore. But don't act like you want to see me and say everything is great, and then tell me "no". I don't even care if he takes me out or not, it's not even about that. If he doesn't want to thats fine. But just tell me up front.
And today I was supposed to go out with Git...I told him to call me when he was ready, and so far I've gotten nothing. *sigh* who knows. Hopefully He'll come through for me.
But at least today hasn't been a total waste of time. I washed my car which it desperately needed. I vaccumed it out and got all my garbage out of it, and gave it a good wash. Didn't wax it...but I probably should have. And I think I'm going to head to the center tonight.
Speaking of the Center, I ran into Eric yesterday at work..Haven't seen him in a long time. He lives in Manchester now, so I guess thats why I haven't seen him in a while. Was good to see him again :).
Been doing a bit more apartment hunting. And I think I found a couple that have my interest. Just have to find some time to actually go look at them....and I also have to decide if I want to live here or not...I mean, I know I don't, but it might be worth it just to leave my place.
well, tahts it. more later.
posted by Lauren 9/20/2006 12:24:00 PM
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
This could be a pretty interesting entry. Just to let you all know....what few of you there are.
So, Today started out a little rough. I worked from 8-4 and the time just did NOT go by. Every minute took about a year. And it was relatively slow on top of that. Not much of anything going on. I was sooooo happy when the clock FINALLY rolled around to 4. Then went home for a bit and checked the mail only to find a small package in my mailbox from Los Angeles California....I bet you can guess who that was from....ANGELO!!!! He sent me a birthday present. It's a DVD of a comedy special of Dave Chappelle. I haven't watched much of his stuff, but hey, I love comedy so what the hell? I then called him to thank him and we talked for a bit. Was really good to talk to him again. Then I went out with Zack. We met up at Chilli's for dinner, then killed some time wandering around the mall, and then went to see Accepted. Yes, my second time seeing it. It's just amazing, no questions asked. That movie, and School of Rock are high in my respect. Just because they're all about saying "NO". All about "Sticking it to the man". Having an AWESOME time and still being productive. That is possible ya know. I know it may come as a shock to you, but, it is possible to go to a school and get an education about something you actually want to study. Like Imagine a class called "rock appreciation and theory". Hell the fuck yeah. Sign me up. But unfortunatly, it's all about the academics today and making yourself a zombie to algebra and earth science in order to get ahead in life. Thats another thing, why the fuck is school everything? I'm very capable of learning on my own. You know who taught me web design? I DID. Ya know who taught me how to hook up a home theatre? I DID. And I could easily do a job involving anything like that. But no. I don't have the piece of paper that says I wasted 4 years of my life "Majoring" in something, but in reality, taking everything BUT my major. However, the good news is, I think we're starting to realize that school isn't all it's cracked out to be. I've heard that a lot of schools don't even require the SAT's anymore. Maybe they finally took into consideration of the fact that the stress, of it all can really fuck up someones grade and not demonstrate what the person really knows. I personally was sick when I took the SAT's and ended up bombing them. Yeah. 880. Fuckin' A. ;). Or, they could have FINALLY FINALLY FUCKIN' FINALLY realized that about 99.9% of that BULLSHIT you will never ever ever ever EVER see after you close that test and hand it back to the teacher. Don't get me wrong, I believe a general, brief, and to the point knowlege is a good thing. Kindergarden through 8th grade is necessary. After that, It's study whatever the fuck you want. If you want to do something involving computers, Take strictly computer classes!! Don't take math....Fuck math! Or, if you want to do something involving customer service, take a class about how to deal with people. How to talk to them and make small talk. Discovering their needs and assisting them. Because nobody fuckin' taught me that. I'm just out there every day wingin' it praying I don't get my ass kicked. Seriously. Well, Anywhoo. tahts my rant for the evening.
So yesterday I did something that I'm extremely proud of. It's probably one of the proudest moments of my life. And I'm not just saying that either. It was about 10:45. I had decided that I was going to go to the mall to Hot Topic and perhaps buy some things with my gift cards. I pull up to a stop light, which happend to be the one next to my church. I look at my church...look at the clock...notice what time it is. Go down the street some more, and turned around and went back to church. Yup. I'm proud. I finally made it to church. And it was awesome to see Rick because he is just amazing.
Thats my entry for now. hope you all enjoyed it and I hope that You learned something here....STICK IT TO THE MAN.
posted by Lauren 9/19/2006 12:07:00 AM
Saturday, September 16, 2006
I'm really starting to hate my supervisor. I swear, Laura and I are like the only people that seem to do things. It's fucking discusting. But, I won't go into that...thats just a shit story...but needless to say, I REALLY miss Carolyn and Stacey.
James and I might go to the Big E on Sunday...if he can, and it's not raining. I hope that happens :)
I got a birthday card in the mail from Claudia and Tina...and inside was a hot topic gift card!!! for 50$.......O_O. So now I have 70$ to spend there..thats pretty awesome!!!!
I found out The Who tickets are WAY too much...they're even more expensive then the Journey/Def Leppard tickets...wtf is up with that?!? It sucks I can't afford to see them. It also sucks that the majority of the bands I like are older and will probably stop touring sometime soon....grrrrrrr.
Sooooo....did everyone hear about that whole spinach fiasco? Pretty insane huh? Especially at a time where I really wanted to cook with it. Hm. Guess I'll have to use frozen. Even though thats totally not the same.
Ah. Another day off tomorrow. Can't get much better then that. Dont' know if I'm going to the Big E yet...James still hasn't gotten back to me.
Tonight after work I'm seriously thinking about an Elvis movie marathon.....yeah...sounds awesome. ;-)
I got an extra large paycheck this week because of working labor day. Woooooooot! Its definatly worth it to work all those tiny holidays. Why not right? I'm not doing anything...
New Clay CD out on Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!
Anywhoo.....thats it I guess....more excitment coming soon....yeah right. lol
posted by Lauren 9/16/2006 12:23:00 AM
Thursday, September 14, 2006
So, yesterday was a pretty do-nothing day. I went to Old Navy in the morning, and picked up two more of those shirts I got the last time I was there..in different colors of course. lol. Then came back home and went out to the mall to get dinner. Stopped by Papyrus and saw Susan, James, and Erica. :) Erica and I made plans to go out after I get out of work tomorrow. That'll be awesome, its been a long time since we've hung out. Also stopped at Gloria Jean's for my most favorite coffee...I swear, they really need to put one of those up at Buckland. After that, I got a call from James telling me to meet him and his friends in Plainville for a movie..And I actually made it there! lol. I had never driven there before. I goofed up once, but Thank God I knew where I was and how to get back where I needed to be. So, I met James and his friends there (The two people we went to see fireworks with, and one other guy) and we saw "Beerfest". LOL, it was hilarious. And I'm glad I got to see James as well. ^_~
I still have to see "the Illusionist"....because of my Edward Norton of course. Ugh, I just love him.
Came back from that and talked to John online....In fact, I think he deserves another shout-out.....HI JOHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^
So as far as Today goes, I think I'm just going to my mom's...Scott and I were talking about going out with Tom tonight. I don't know if thats going to happen or not.
So, my latest news is: I MIGHT GO SEE THE WHO!!!!!!! If the tickets aren't a zillion dollars, I'm definatly going. I got an e-mail yesterday about pre-sales for the concert. I'm totally going if I can. I'll probably be the youngest person there, but who cares right?!
Tomorrow is back to work........grr. and I close with Rachel tomorrow which is so fantastic... *rolls eyes*. With any amount of luck, she'll be off doing her own thing and not around me. And also with any amount of luck, it'll be slow.
Theres so much stuff that I want to talk about in here. SO much stuff. But since I don't want to sound like a psycho-path, (Because contrary to popular belief, I'm NOT a psycho-path) I guess I won't talk about it. Although I really should have nothing to worry about because this is MY page...and I should be able to talk about whatever I want. But whatever. I guess I'll save that for my private journal. Anyone I know can ask me about it tho, if they feel like they have any advice to offer up. Maybe I'll talk about it. I don't know. Ugh, I'm confusing huh?
Well, I'm off to do Laundry. Later dayz.
posted by Lauren 9/14/2006 10:20:00 AM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
So, remember how yesterday I said I didn't want to go to work? Well, I totally did. It was one of the best nights ever. Tuesday nights are the best nights to work because of the people that work with me. Which ussually is: Heather, Diana, Tom, Matty, Dodie, and Scott was there this time. OMG it was just hilarious. When Tom was making the closing announcement, he says "Attention borders shoppers, the time is now 10pm and Borders is closed for the evening. If you have any final purchases to make, please bring them to the registers where Scott will be glad to take your money". HAHA! That was classic. And we started calling Tom "Good ol' Tom". LOL! if you're not from around here you probably have never seen those commericals....He's this guy who has a little shop where if you bring in your o ld jewlerly and gold and stuff he'll give you cash for it. Yeah....lol. Theres more hilarity involved in there too.....haha!
So anywhoo.....
I really want to go to build-a-brear and make the new Halloween one...it's SOOO cute! But I have three build-a-bears already...Hmph.
Oh! oh! oh!!!!! I hope you all heard!!! GENO AURIEMMA GOT IN THE BASKETBALL HALL OF FAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Speaking of that, UConn basketball should be starting again soon...can't wait!!!!!!
I have a new reader reading this now.... Hi John!!!!! *waves!* ^_^ He's the coolest guy ever :)
Kristin's birthday was yesterday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTIN!
So I was browsing around Youtube the other day and I came across some uncensored Whose Line episodes. HILARIOUS. Aparently they were on TV but I don't remember ever seeing those....Weird. Yes, even though I haven't mentioned it in a while, I still love my Whose Line. :-P
So I've been reading this book that Scott told me to get. It's called "Please Understand Me". Its a book about personality types. And it was a test in it that you take to find out which type you are. I got ISTJ. I read the discription for it and it seems pretty accurate. Its a very interesting book.
I'm totally going to enjoy my days off this week....I'm wiped out..Need them SOOO BAD.
Well, about my last entry. I honestly don't know what I was smoking when I wrote that. Well, I wasn't smoking anything because I dont' smoke, but you get my drift. That was just weird. Oh well, we all know I got through weird phases on this thing. LOL
I've been really grooving on Def Leppard lately. I have my CD in my car and I've been listening to it non-stop. I love it!!!
Well anywhoo...thats about all the ramblings I've got for now. lol catcha on the flip-flop jive turkeys. :-D
posted by Lauren 9/13/2006 11:43:00 AM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
I really don't want to go to work today. I just don't. I've totally had enough of it. The good news is that I have tomorrow and Thursday off!!!!!! And with any amount of luck I'll have Sunday off too. If I had half a brain I would just call out and screw it all. But, then again, I want to save my call-outs for the winter...yeah, thats probably a good idea.
UGH. This is insanity!
posted by Lauren 9/12/2006 02:02:00 PM
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
If any of these statements are specificlly directed towrds you.. (which would be determined by me mentioning your name) well, I'm sorry, but thats how it is.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm not more ahead in life. I mean, I know I have virtually no direction, which is fucked up. I know what I want to do with my life. I know exactly what I want. But I really don't know how to go and accomplish it. I know I didn't go to college, but ya know what? School is definatly not for me. I enjoy learning so much more when I'm not forced to do it. And the incompitance (sp?) of the West Hartford public school system didn't help either. This school system is ranked very high. I have absolutly no idea how that can be. I've had maybe 3 or 4 good teachers in my entire carreer as a student here. The rest of them had absolutly no idea what they were doing. And I was smart enough to realize it. I thank God every day that I was born with the common sense that I have. I don't want to blow my own bubble, but I think I have a lot more common sense then most people. Especially around here. And even durring my younger years I was smart enough to know that these teachers had no idea what the fuck they were doing. So how did I get good grades? Well, thats easy. I want to say that it was sheer luck. But I know thats not true. It was because I took it upon myself to learn the material and not depend on a no-brain teacher to teach it to me. See, more common sense. That way I'd have nobody to blame but myself if I didn't do good. For the majority of highschool, I did very well. Senior year especially (minus the issues I had in trig). I took classes last summer in Florida and that ruled. I had the time of my life. But that was because it was purely stuff that I was interested in. I've thought about going back to school several times. And I think I may.
Theres is also the factor of all the things I've been through as of recent. All this crap that I've gone through has dragged me down tremendously emotionally. All the shit my dad and mom have put me through, Dom breaking up with me, and all his abuse twords me, And everything with Bill and all his abuse towrds me. Every relationship I've been in in a while has been abusive. Not just romatic relationships. But that can really take a toll on a person...at least on me. The thing about me is, words hurt me more then actual physical abuse. Because if someone is abusing my physically I can very easily defend myself and not feel bad about it. But if someone is saying bad things about me, and yelling at me, calling me stupid, and g00d-for nothing, and just being down-right mean, I'll just sit there and take it because I'm too affraid to say anything back. I'm not a mean person, so I don't say mean things to people, even if I have every right to. So I just sit there and listen to people degrade me and tare me apart limb from limb and absorb it all like a sponge.
In the midst of all this bullshit, I'm trying to think about my future. Yeah fucking right, it a'int happening. But now things are a little different. Things with my dad are a zillion times better then they were. I'm making a vow to no longer be tollerant of people who treat me or my friends with any amount of dis-respect. And Best of all, I have a lot of friendships now, and I'm confident that none of them will ever betray me. And most importantly, I'm starting to make plans for my future. :)
posted by Lauren 9/05/2006 12:43:00 PM
Friday, September 01, 2006
*Edited*
Okay, so, My birthday was alright....full of a bit of excitement, but not much. That morning I went and got my hair cut and highlighted, and let me tell you, it looks AWESOME. It's really funky. Its highlighted bright red and blonde. The style is pretty much the same, except now it's shorter so its a lot easier to take care of and it doesn't frizz up as easily. I got this goop stuff to put on it after I straighten it and that helps too. So I go to pay for my haircut and Dan tells me that Denise paid for it for my birthday present ^_^. That was awesome! Especially since I expected to go in there and spend some serious money.
So, Jon's home now and after I got my hair done me and him and his friend Chris, who seems pretty cool.. went out to Subway for lunch, then went back to Chris's house for a bit...and get this, Nas came over. I haven't seen or spoken to Nas in FOREVER. Probably a few years at least. He's changed a lot...thats for sure. Was good to see him though, he's still as funny as ever..and he still looks as good as ever... lol. He was always attractive. After that, I went home, and My dad and Denise went to the Corner pug for dinner. Sooooo good. Then me and my dad went up to Borders and chilled...and that was that. Overall a good day. A lot of people forgot my birthday this year. Like Dom....Well, he probably knew about it if he has those birthday reminder things on myspace. But yeah, no happy birthday from him...And none from a couple other people that I expected to remember. Oh well.
Yesterday I went out to Old Navy and spent some money.. Picked up some clothes..two pairs of pants which are both awesome, and a shirt which is also awesome. Then went to visit my mom for a bit, and we went to the mall because she wanted to get me something for my birthday...so we went to Filene's, which is now Macy's, and I picked up another pair of pants..heh, shopping spree
Went out with James for a bit last night also..we got Starbucks and walked around the center for a bit, then came back to my place and watched the Family Guy movie...which gets better every time you watch it. LOL. Had another awesome night with him ^_^. And I think we're going to see Lewis Black in November when he comes to Stamford. AHH!!
So today before work I went back to Macy's because I desperately wanted my perfume. I had used the very last drop of it last night and my Calvin Klein is almost gone as well. So, I went and they ended up selling me this gift set with my perfume, lotion, and shower gel. All of them have the same scent so its rather awesome. and they gave me this tote bag thing with it which is cool also. I'm so happy I got more of it. I was missing it! lol. And its a bigger bottle also so it'll last longer.
Work was alright...record time closing...I was completely done at 11:10. lol, hell yeah. Rachel was there and did stuff like take the trash out and put the chairs up, so that made life a lot easier.
Huh.... guess thats about all the happenings of recent. Perhaps another update tomorrow with more
=====================
Alright folks. it's officially OVER, It's fucking OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the best thing God has ever done for me. Heh, too bad I a'int saying what it is... ;-)
posted by Lauren 9/01/2006 11:52:00 PM
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