Thursday, November 01, 2007

Well here I am again after another long hiatus. I don't really give two shits about this thing anymore. Nobody reads it anyway. And why I'm even wasting my time updating it now is just another mystery to add to the list of mysteries about me.

Have you ever woken up one day and realized "Hey, I'm a fucking loser"?!? Well yeah, I think that just happened to me. I have no direction in life. None. I work at fucking BORDERS wasting every day minute by minute. Ive recently taken to looking for a new job...something that pays more and doesn't involve working with dumb-ass mother fucker customers who don't know where they are in the time/space continuium. But of course, everyone wants SCHOOL for everything. Well, guess what, I can't afford school. And yet, I can do just as good of a job as someone who did go, with maybe a little bit more training. I'm being punished by society because I'm border-line poor and can't afford the education that other people can. It's not like I don't want to go, I can't. Even if I did want to go, I have no fucking clue what I would go for. I have no direction for anything. I really wanted to be involved with movies in some way. But seriously, even if I spent all that money and went to school for that and graduated with even a masters degree, then where would I be?!? It's not like that industry is easy to get into...in fact, it's next to impossible. So I'd still be in the lurch. Then I thought about going to school for religion. But I don't want to be a pastor, so what good is that? It's not like that would be easy either. When I was younger I wanted to do animation....but guess what, I can't fucking draw!!!! I don't understand it, I want to do these things that I can't do! I don't know, I'm just a fucking loser and a failure at life. I'm not good at anything except failing. Hey, I can be an expert failure!! Sounds awesome! I can continue to struggle to survive for the rest of my life and work a bull-shit dead end job! YES! isn't that everyone's dream?!

posted by Lauren 11/01/2007 12:35:00 PM

*Lauren's Blog*

*NOTE: unless otherwise specified, all of the graphics on this page were made by me. Please don't take them*
Today I feel:
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DISCLAIMER: All of the things written here are the views/opinions of ME. I'm not writing in here to make you happy. I'm writing here to make me happy. Thats why it's MY page. I don't care if we don't have the same tastes or disagree about things. We're all different, and you're welcome to your opinions. You may find many things about me that you don't like. But when it boils down to it, I don't care. If you don't like what I write, don't read it.

ABOUT ME:
I'm normal, but I'm completely different. I should have been born about 20 years before I actually was. Most of the music I listen to, the way I dress, and the way I think all go back to that time. As a result, I relate a lot better to people who are older than me. I'm completely independent and rely on nobody except myself (and God). I've been living on my own for 3 years. I didn't really go to college. My goals were just different than most peoples. I wanted to be out on my own and working rather than sitting in a classroom with no real direction. Besides, school is just not for me. I enjoy learning when I'm not forced to do it. I read constantly and am always learning new things. I hope to be involved with TV, music, or movies in someway. I would also love to write. I'm a realist. I have an excellent head on my shoulders. I have more common sense than most people. The most important thing in my life is my relationship with God. The best advice I can give to anyone is laugh.....always :)

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